Well, the day itself is ok. It’s all that it represents I don’t like. I’m not even sure how it got started, but it has always been my contention that this is one of the most commercialized “holidays” around. I hear so many complaints and jokes about this day from men and women, both married and single, that I wonder what the point is.

I can’t find the words to express how I really feel about this day. I hate feeling manipulated. I hate feeling guilty. I hate the feeling of not living up to the world’s expections of not making my special someone feel, well, “special.” I hate being told that by buying a bunch of flowers that normally cost $19.95 for $100 is all it takes to make up for the rest of the year when I should have been paying the $19.95 just because.

The biggest problem I have with Valentine’s Day is how it unintentionally emphasizes our lack of connectivity. More so than any other time of year we recognize how disconnected we are from each other, and it doesn’t matter whether you are single or married.

By the vary nature of Valentine’s Day, some singles are made painfully aware of their singleness. Another day that overemphasizes the L word spent hanging with their friends, or worse yet, alone, not having that “special someone” in their life. The emphasis here that if you don’t have a love interest then you can’t be all that special. What a bunch of bull.

And it’s just as troublesome if you are in a committed relationship, whether dating or married. Our disconnectedness comes from the perception (and most of the time rightly so) that the other person just doesn’t understand us, just doesn’t “get” us, just doesn’t know what we need to be happy, or will take the effort to find out. These problems and issues are year round, but Valentine’s Day is the exclamation point on our relationship frustrations. It’s Valentine’s Day that brings me face-to-face with my failures and inadequacies as an unromantic, uncaring boob.

I so love my wife; and it’s my tendency to be self-absorbed that keeps me from telling her, and showing her, year round. I, like all men, take the ones closes to us for granted. I don’t like Valentine’s Day for the commercialization of love, but I suppose there is some redeeming value in a day that will make me aware of where I need improvement.

And so, to Cindy my wife of 27 years: I LOVE YOU!

By the way, what’s for supper?

For an interesting article on connectivity, click here: Love and the Lonely: A Valentine for the Disconnected by Jim Robinson

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