Well, actually it’s been one of those days for over a week now. Ever since my last post. Don’t have a clue what’s wrong, but I have this nagging feeling of something in the cosmos being misplaced, or better yet, out of place. The kind of feeling you get when you leave for a trip and can’t remember if you left the water running somewhere, or the iron on (yeah, like I iron), or forgot something essential like clean socks or underwear. I’ve felt disconnected, but I don’t know what I’m disconnected from. The best description I have for this feeling, and it’s not even a description, is I’m in a funk. Not the kind of funk like a James Brown or Grand Funk Railroad (ask your parents) kind of funk. Just a funk. I’ve felt uninspired to write (hence the week between posts), and uninspiring. I’m not sad, but not happy. I’m not unspiritual, but not spiritual. I’m not discontented, but I’m not contented. It’s like I’m in neutral, sitting at a four-way intersection, reving my engine, and trying to decide which way to go. Do you know what I mean? I see those nods.

Maybe it’s hanging around all those young single adults with their dreams and aspirations and expectations. Maybe I’m finally going through my mid-life crisis! Ooh, a fast, red sports car. Or a motorcycle! Maybe I’ll get a tatoo and an ear piercing. Or gold chains. Get my hair spiked and colored red. What a fool. That’s not it.

But something’s wrong and I can’t put my finger on it. It’s like God is trying to get my attention and I’m just too thick-headed to understand what He is saying. “Hello? Anybody in there?”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about “God’s will and plan for my life,” and what actually does it mean “God’s will and plan for my life.” Have I already so screwed up what He wanted from me that now God is trying to make do with what I’ve given Him to work with? Oh, that sounded sacrilegious, “God is trying to make do.” But free will and choice on our part has got to effect (or is it affect, I never know which one to use) God’s perfect plan for us. Or does it? Where does His sovereignty come in? Ouch, now I’m getting a headache. I really don’t feel like going there right now.

Enough already. Suffice it to say, something feels wrong and I’m at a loss to describe it, explain it, or get my thoughts around it. I’ve got someplace to be, but don’t know the directions. I’ve got something to learn but don’t know what to study. I’ve got SOMETHING to do, but don’t know what. Maybe you guys have some insights. It’s too bad the comments page only allows you a little room to comment. Nothing else, email me. I may post your comments for my next blog…at least till I start feeling inspired again.

Until next time…or maybe not.

Advertisements