It seems lately that I have been dropping out of a lot of things, or wanting to. And I’ve felt I’ve always had good reasons, at least to me. By the way, this will probably be a rant to some extent so just bare with me. Or quit reading now.

First I quit being an active deacon at our church. I wanted to spend more time working on our Singles’ Ministry, but I feel I’ve neglected that also.

Next I quit working on the sound and lighting team. I’ve been doing it for about 16 years and I just got tired of it. Tired of dealing with staff mainly, and knowing a lot of what goes on behind the scenes that I just didn’t want to know. As much as I respect our staff’s abilities and talents, they are pretty much clueless about dealing with a bunch of volunteers who have full time jobs. They love to “delegate” so they don’t have to spend so much time up at church, which is THEIR workplace! So I took a break for a while and I’m enjoying it.

I don’t know why I quit this next activity, but I felt God was saying, “This isn’t where I want you right now.” Our singles group joined with another group to start a Tuesday night praise and worship time, geared towards single professionals in the Tarrant County area. I’ve felt the need and hunger for this for a long time but never really did anything. And now that it is starting I felt like I needed to bow out so that those in charge can get people in place where they need them. I have a tendency to want to take over (it’s a personality flaw I’m working on), but this time was about young singles coming together to worship God and I felt the singles needed to be in charge and make all the decisions. So I’ve backed off. The only regret I will have is not being able to listen to Angie sing and lead me in worship. She has a great voice and I hope she realizes that! Maybe we can do something around here locally so we can use her, and some of the others we have who are good singers. Maybe on a Sunday night? Or when we start our own church?

The next thing I want to quit, but haven’t yet, is my own company. I started a company with two other men and we produce CD-ROMS and DVDs for corporate, religious and educational clients. This is a full time gig for Greg and over and above our “real” jobs for Robert and myself. Robert is a professor at the seminary here in town and has a lot of flexibility in his schedule. For me, I’ve got to do all the work after I get home at night and on weekends. I wouldn’t mind it so much except for two things: the time it takes away from my family time and the fact that I really don’t enjoy the work any more. I don’t want to come home and spend another 5 hours a night and weekends in front of the computer trying to learn new ways of doing things. The work has been slow lately and I’ve enjoyed not having to work on a CD-ROM, but we can use the money so I don’t say anything to my partners. But it’s going to happen, I’ve just got to figure out what I’m going to tell them.

The last thing I want to quit is just a fantasy. Cindy and I want to quit our jobs, sell the house and furniture and one of the cars, and move to a small mountain village somewhere to open either a small coffee shop or bookstore or restaurant. And actually live off of what we make. We’d do it too, except for one small detail – we’ve got a $60,000+ college degree to buy for our one and only daughter. (Go Raiders!) That’s ok; I probably couldn’t sell enough coffee or books to live off of anyway. By the way, if we do it we’re taking our class with us!

Now I’m going to quit writing this post. I’d quit blogging altogether, but I enjoy the writing whether someone reads it or not.

His peace on you.

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