It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Ever feel this way? Do you ever feel that things can get much worse, that God really doesn't care, that you are alone and without hope? I'm constantly fighting these feelings, the voices of self-doubt that whisper in my head all those things that can't be spoken out loud. The urge to give in and just quit. A friend of mine asked me in an email recently to narrow my concerns down to one sentence. At first I thought she was joking. But then it dawned on me, all my concerns can be narrowed down to this one thing: I'm afraid of becoming "faithless." You know, one of those people that use to believe but doesn't anymore. That doesn't go to church because it just doesn't work for me anymore. That whines and complains all the time. Ok, I have always done that last one. But in the midst of my stumbling and groping around in the darkness, there is an occasional flash of light, like a flash on a camera going off. And in that instant I can see clearly. I can't see everything in front of me, but I can see enough to just make it a few more feet. It doesn't last very long, but just long enough. And I have to cling to that last flash of light to know that I'm still on the right path.

You groped your way through that murk once, but no longer. You're out in the open now. The bright light of Christ makes your way plain. So no more stumbling around. Get on with it!

Ephesians 5:8 (The Message)

In His Light.

Correction (3/11): I don't like the line I put in about not going to church. I know several Jesus Followers that don't "go to church" and I don't consider them faithless. What I should have writen is: I don't hang with other Christ Followers, whether in church or small groups or wherever, because it doesn't work for me. Make sense?