January 2007


Thanks everyone for the comments. Brian asked how or why I chose the “Bit of Smoke” title and the scripture that went along with it. Well, to tell you the truth, I have no idea; it just came to me as I was creating the original blog on Blogger. It struck me as being so true: we are only here for a short time, like that smoke, and for most of us when we are gone there isn’t going to much left to remind people we were here, hence the blogging thing.

Perhaps blogging is our way of reaching for some kind of significance, some kind of permanence (as permanent as the internet can be): to write down our thoughts and hopes and fears and whatever else happens to pop into our usually distracted thoughts and pretend that someone actually cares about what we have to say. Don’t get me wrong here, I do care about what you have to say on your blogs and in the comments you make, but is what we have to say really all that significant? Does it have to be? We usually write because we enjoy the process, not necessarily the end results. Barbara had a great quote on her Prodigal Daughter blog:

“Writers don’t write about themselves because they think anyone actually cares that much. They are banking on the fact that in the process of wrestling something out of their own darkness, they can connect with that which is common to someone else. Doesn’t have to be everybody, either. Just somebody.”
– John Fischer

I liked that quote. Not everybody has to get something out of what I write, just somebody. And so it is with you, too. Gary talked about why some posts get comments and others don’t. I think it’s because some posts resonate with the readers more than others. I read a lot of blogs, but I don’t comment that often. It’s not that I don’t care; it’s just there are some posts that talk to where I’m at in the moment. Others don’t. Don’t take it personally.

OK, sorry. The question was why I chose “Bit of Smoke…” Not only was I struck with the similarities of life and smoke, and the brevity of both, but I was also struck with how smoke is often used in the Bible to show God and His power (“And the temple was filled with smoke from the glory of God and from his power…”) and it is my desire to be a representation of God in this dry and parched land, a small bit of God if you will. So, should I change the name to “Bit of God…”? Naw, I think I will leave it alone. Hopefully somebody will connect.

His peace.
B~

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Well, it’s a little different.  Amber made a comment that she and Brian were having trouble reading my blog on their computers, so I changed themes.  Hopefully this will help.  If any of you have any problems, let me know.

Thanks for reading, I do appreciate it.

B~

Well, I’m not really sure how to answer that question. I haven’t been gone, just mainly lurking around reading other blogs, and occasionally making a comment or two. But obviously I haven’t been writing anything lately. Sometimes the words just pour out, but lately they have been short circuiting between my brain and my hands. The thoughts are there, but the urge to write them down hasn’t been. Until now.

On my last post, Trinitie made a comment (it’s good to see she is still around and reading) that she didn’t like the post, that it felt like I was “trying too hard.” The truth of the matter was, I wasn’t trying hard at all…it was just a post to have something there. Slap something together and get it online, and make it fit the season. It wasn’t something on my heart as much as it was just something in my brain. I don’t want this to be the last thing I ever write if I get hit by a car or something on my way home tonight.

And so I write. But the odd thing is I still don’t really have anything of importance to say. About anything. Well, almost anything. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in a job interview for another position here at the college, and I thought I had the answers they were looking for. Except for one question. This question has been bugging me since that day and I still don’t have an answer for it. Not a truthful one anyway.

The question?

What are you passionate about?

What am I passionate about? Lots of things. Some things. Not much of anything. What drives me to get out of bed each morning and live life? What motivates me, what do I care about more than anything, what do I live for? Besides family? Not much of anything. I use to be passionate about the church, but not anymore. I use to be passionate about God, but not anymore. I use to be passionate about what I did for a living (video production), but not anymore.

There is a saying in video production that goes like this, “Old cameramen never die, they just lose their focus.” That’s what has happened to me, I’ve lost my focus.

What are you passionate about?

When we lose our passions, our zeal, we wind up going through the motions of life. Not really living life, just existing. I see that in a lot of people – mainly the older we get the more cynical and “tired” we become. There is a lot of truth to the saying “youthful passions.” We become safe, and boring. I don’t want to be safe; I don’t want to be boring. But at the moment the question remains.

What are you passionate about?

B~