Well, I’m not really sure how to answer that question. I haven’t been gone, just mainly lurking around reading other blogs, and occasionally making a comment or two. But obviously I haven’t been writing anything lately. Sometimes the words just pour out, but lately they have been short circuiting between my brain and my hands. The thoughts are there, but the urge to write them down hasn’t been. Until now.

On my last post, Trinitie made a comment (it’s good to see she is still around and reading) that she didn’t like the post, that it felt like I was “trying too hard.” The truth of the matter was, I wasn’t trying hard at all…it was just a post to have something there. Slap something together and get it online, and make it fit the season. It wasn’t something on my heart as much as it was just something in my brain. I don’t want this to be the last thing I ever write if I get hit by a car or something on my way home tonight.

And so I write. But the odd thing is I still don’t really have anything of importance to say. About anything. Well, almost anything. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in a job interview for another position here at the college, and I thought I had the answers they were looking for. Except for one question. This question has been bugging me since that day and I still don’t have an answer for it. Not a truthful one anyway.

The question?

What are you passionate about?

What am I passionate about? Lots of things. Some things. Not much of anything. What drives me to get out of bed each morning and live life? What motivates me, what do I care about more than anything, what do I live for? Besides family? Not much of anything. I use to be passionate about the church, but not anymore. I use to be passionate about God, but not anymore. I use to be passionate about what I did for a living (video production), but not anymore.

There is a saying in video production that goes like this, “Old cameramen never die, they just lose their focus.” That’s what has happened to me, I’ve lost my focus.

What are you passionate about?

When we lose our passions, our zeal, we wind up going through the motions of life. Not really living life, just existing. I see that in a lot of people – mainly the older we get the more cynical and “tired” we become. There is a lot of truth to the saying “youthful passions.” We become safe, and boring. I don’t want to be safe; I don’t want to be boring. But at the moment the question remains.

What are you passionate about?

B~

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