Personal


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No one has been around in a while. People pass by it every day on their way to some place else and hardly give it a thought. Even those who were frequent visitors have forgotten how to get here. Occasionally someone will stop by, perhaps hoping someone will be home, and they think about the owner. “I wonder what happened to him?” they ask, “he just up and left.” The weeds are growing up all around, in and out of the old rotting siding. The windows are now bare and dark and stare into loneliness. It has been said that once, all sorts of interesting people would come into the warm and inviting living room, grab a beer, sit by the fire and join into the conversation; or they would just stop by and sit on the porch swing and listen. Now the voices have grown cold and hollow and the only thing you can hear are the echoes of once glorious parties – the laughter, the music, and the joy. And the sadness. It’s all in the building somewhere if you listen hard enough.

 

You imagine all sorts of exciting things the owner must be doing – he’s traveling the world in search of some great adventure. Or he’s helping those less needy than himself with self-sacrificing love. Or he’s traveling a great and glorious journey of faith, discovering who he is or should be. But then you realize that the building you are standing in the middle of isn’t abandoned, it’s just neglected out of laziness and apathy, and that makes you cry just a little bit; but just a little bit, and then you move onto your next destination where the conversation and friendships still warm your heart. Your footsteps echo on the wood floor and you open the creaky wooden door slowly as if you really don’t want to leave, but it’s cold and drafty in here and there really isn’t much reason to stay. Looking back one more time into the dark room you notice, just maybe, a very slight glowing ember in the fireplace, and you smile. Just maybe…

B~

I was reading my friend Chris’ blog, and he had a list of five songs that “defined” his life. It made me think of this post I had written in March of 2005, so I’m reposting it again because I’m lazy. The original post was in response to a post from a twenty-something pup who listed his music and it was the music of HIS generation.

It got me thinking about the music of my life, music that would define who I am and I found that a very difficult task. Of course a life is not “defined” by music, but the music is a reflection and description of how we perceive ourselves at the moment – what experiences we are going through now, and in the past, and how those experiences impact our awareness of who we are or want to be. (more…)

I’m sitting here at work, the day after the 4th of July, and I’m pondering a few things.  I hate when that happens as it doesn’t happen often.  But here I sit in my office at the college with absolutely nothing going on but our usual rain soaking.  Nothing is going on because we are normally closed on Fridays during the summer months and since the 4th fell on Wednesday this year just about everyone took today off (silly me).  So here I sit, drinking my green tea and reading blog after blog.  And pondering.  Pondering is an actual word meaning, among other things, to “chew over, think over, meditate, excogitate, contemplate, muse, reflect, mull, mull over, ruminate, or speculate.”  The root word, as far as I can tell, was probably taken from Ponder Texas, which isn’t that far from here and has a population of 507.  With a population that small I’m guessing there’s not that much to do but ruminate.  I always thought that ruminate was something Captain Jack Sparrow would do quite often after a night of frolic and rum, but it’s not – it means to ponder. (more…)

First of all, let me say that I am NOT a proponent of people changing churches because “they are not getting fed.” Or in other words, THEIR needs aren’t getting met. I would like to think that I’m beyond that in my search for a new church home, but who am I kidding…it’s always about me. I’m as much of a consumer as anyone else, and churches today don’t feel much different, it’s just another “product.” Sadly, we don’t go to church to give something back or to worship, we go to get something out of it and if the “product” doesn’t live up to it’s packaging we move on to someplace else that can give us what we want. And if nothing ever meets our criteria for what we consider a good church, then we will keep moving around hoping to find that “perfect” church until we become nothing more that church hoppers. (more…)

We’re looking for a new church and I hate looking for a new church.  It’s not like we’re big church hoppers – the last time we looked for a new church was 19 years ago.  That’s right, we’ve been members at one church for 19 years.  So, why are we looking again?  I’m not really sure.  Something happened in the last couple of years that makes going to our current church just feel wrong.  Or more accurately, not where we are suppose to be.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about their theology, but more about how they do church.  Baptist love their programs and activities and committees.  Nor is it because of a falling out with the staff; as a matter of fact there are a couple of people on staff we really love (*cough* shelly/laura *cough*). (more…)

I’ve just taken a 40 day blog fast, but it wasn’t intentional.  During the last 40 days I’ve been to New York City for a week, started moving my office and video studios from one campus into new digs on another campus about 20 miles further in my daily commute, tried to re-seed my back yard after the drought did a number on it (failed – not even one blade!), went to a wedding of a couple who met at Seminary but became friends and grew together in our singles Bible study, and read a lot of your blogs (and by yours I’m referring to the readers of this blog who hopefully haven’t abandoned me to the emptiness of the world wide web).  And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about things: this blog, my faith, God, the Bible study class I’ve been leading, stuff like that; things I can write about.  I promised Bar I would post more if she would add me back to her blog lists, and even though she hasn’t done it yet, I’m making a quick post before I head home from work.

So, I’m back.  Hopefully I haven’t lost a lot of my regular readers, but it doesn’t matter…this blog has always been for me so I will continue to write.

B~

When I think back
On all the crap I learned in high school
Its a wonder
I can think at all
And though my lack of education
Hasn’t hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall

~Paul Simon

 

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B~

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